The biggest red flags in a new relationship
New relationships are scary. You're constantly wondering if you're saying and doing the right thing. But, what about the other person? Sometimes, your lust for the other individual can cloud your judgment and make you ignore red flags.
If you want to prevent a disaster and catch the signs they aren’t the one, here’s a list of what I consider to be the biggest red flags in a new relationship.
1. Love bombing
Love bombing is a type of manipulation where someone overwhelms you with loving actions, behaviour, and words. Often, it is used to make you trust this person and fall for them quickly.
However, not all love bombing is manipulation. Some people move too fast and express themselves too quickly, which can be perceived as love bombing. If you suspect the person just moves too quickly and lets their lust drive them, have a chat. Slow things down.
But if you do think you’re being manipulated, look for these signs of love bombing:
-They shower you with gifts
-They over-compliment you
-They spam you with texts and calls
-They pressure you to put a label on things and be exclusive
-They’re overly needy
2. You take all initiative
If you find yourself begging for the other person's time, run! Relationships aren’t one-sided. Both parties need to feel wanted and satisfied within the relationship. If you find yourself being the only person planning dates, texting first, and like you’re on the other person’s time, cut it! If this person makes you feel unwanted this early on, it's likely things won’t improve. You need to find someone who reciprocates your energy.
3. They don’t respect boundaries
Setting boundaries at the early stages of a relationship is crucial. While having that talk with your partner may be difficult, it is something that needs to be done.
The more important part is seeing how this person reacts to these boundaries. Do they agree to these boundaries, and then a week later cross them? Do they blow them off right away? Or do they respect them?
Having an individual who not only listens to you but respects your boundaries is one of the most important factors of a relationship. If they’re pushy or not understanding, you know you need to move on.
4. They’re hot and cold
If they show you affection one day and they are dry the next, they might be playing games with you. Especially if it's a cycle of showing interest, being dry, showing interest, being dry.
A common manipulation tactic is starting a potential relationship with the best behaviour, and wooing over the other person. Then, at some point in the dating process, they back out to only 50% effort.
A lot of the time it makes people essentially beg for attention. But if you’re able to catch this manipulation tactic early on, my best advice would be to run as far away as possible.
You need someone who isn’t playing games and isn’t afraid to express themselves with you. A person like this will likely continue to play these types of games later on in the relationship.
While there are a lot of different signs a person isn't the one, these are the most important.
Don't let your idea of this person blind your judgement and see them for who they really are.
PS: Not having this problem? Great! Sounds like you need this little couples game in your life.