I went on the Plenty of Fish POF app to find someone during the early days of the pandemic. In March 2019.
Was I looking for a hookup?
But did I think my future husband had already died in the pandemic?
Errr.. Not quite.
I think my future husband is alone and he’s reading a book on a beautiful beach while drinking beer in Malibu to be honest.
Is he black, white, Asian, or Latino?
All I know is that person and the person I met online are completely different people. This man was a two divorced Polish immigrant’s son and a cutie. Younger than me with a close Ghanaian friend. I'm Ghanaian too.
I thought I had met a good friend.
But my mom thought differently and so did he.
He wanted to hook up with me in his car all the time. He was the cutest guy I’ve been with so far, so, like an idiot, I let this kid take the lead.
Before you judge, it was the ending of my twenties, and everyone thought we’d die of Covid-19. I needed joy and liked the guy enough to hook up with him.
The sex was lackluster. *womp, womp*
I don’t get really turned on by young Jesus types. It reminds me that I’m sinning.
Though older Jesus types can spank me into repentance any day.
Plus, he cut his hair halfway through our situationship so it ruined his appeal for me.
Also, the fact that I telling details of our situationship to my mom ruined it for him. He knew about strict Ghanaian moms and was horrified by mine without even meeting her.
She would call us several times while we were hooking up to make sure he was feeding me. Though he wanted to lose weight he grudgingly took me to McDonald’s and Tim Hortons.
He broke up with me once I told him that my mom and pastor were giving me advice on him. My mom was informed, but I don’t share that hook up information with my pastor. I wouldn’t dare.
When it comes down to it, I think I wanted it all to end as well. I've been accepted to a British university to go on for my masters, and school isn't his thing.
But I couldn’t let him have the last laugh.
I messaged one of his Ghanaian friends—a fitness influencer— that he was no good and using Ghanaian girls for only hooking up because he had a previous ex who was Ghanaian that he told me about. He messaged me afterwards angrily saying I was never his girlfriend.
Only kiss my future husband from now on.
Is my husband on a beach in Malibu?
Maybe, but he is reading Shakespeare, hot like Brody Jenner, hung like a horse, an English professor, unmarried, no kids and straight. I wish he finds me soon.
Until then I’m going to be using The Self Care Bucket List to heal and laugh and you should check it here too.
My twenties are over and so is my bad taste in men, but I have survived the pandemic and can’t wait to find a hotter guy to marry.
Until then I’m off dating apps.
But wait until I tell you about my Tinder adventures…