How to make new friends as an adult

How to make new friends as an adult

Making friends as an adult is probably one of the hardest things you can do. It seemed so easy as a kid, but now, it’s practically impossible.

If you’re shy or more introverted, you’re going to have to learn how to put yourself out there. It’s going to take a lot to step out of your comfort zone, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

If you find yourself losing friends quicker than you’re gaining them, try out some of these tips.

Find the most high-energy person in the room.

Find a function. A concert, bar, any place with a lot of people. Find the person that is having the best time. 

Avoid people who are on their phones, distracted, or look miserable. Find the individuals who are smiling, dancing, and laughing.

This is where it gets a little bit tough. Go up to them and introduce yourself.

I know, but bear with me here. Going out of your comfort zone and starting a conversation with a stranger may sound terrifying, but it will definitely be worth it.

People who are positive, uplifting, and confident are the people that will be open to new connections. These people are the ones you want in your life. Having quality friends is more important than having friends in general.

If you’re unsure about what to say, keep it simple.
“You have great energy! I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. My name is…”

Coffee shops are your best friend.

Next time you stop by your local coffee shop, start a conversation with the baristas. Baristas are some of the friendliest people out there. 

The baristas you see every day are the ones who will be more willing to connect with you. Learn their names and introduce yourself, especially if you’re new to the area. 

 

Small Talk + Compliments are Key.

Small talk is the first step. It helps break any awkward barriers that exist when you first meet someone. 

The second step is complimenting them. Say you like their nails, their hair, eyelashes, whatever it may be. Ask them if they know any good places to get your nails and hair done. As long as you have a question that they can help you with, this method will work like a charm. 

Talking to baristas at a more personable level and breaking that professional dynamic is the key to success in using this method. 

Once you feel like both you and the barista are at a comfortable stage, ask to connect on social media. This allows both of you to get to know each other in a way that does not make anyone uncomfortable.

Moving too fast and rushing the friendship is a no-go. This method can take weeks to see results, but that’s totally normal. You won’t make friends overnight, and if you want a genuine connection with a potential friend, let things run their course.

Putting yourself out there is challenging, but definitely worth it. You’d be surprised just how many people are also looking for friends.
And hey, if you get turned down, you still get points for trying. 
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Natalie Lyczek

23-year-old freelancer and content creator from the GTA.

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