Relationship goals: What to consider before setting them

Relationship goals: What to consider before setting them

Ever wonder why some relationships seem to flourish like a well-tended garden while others wilt faster than a daisy in the desert? The secret is in setting the right relationship goals. But before you start scribbling down a list of objectives, let's talk about what to consider.

Aligning Goals with Your Personal Values

First things first, your relationship goals need to align with your personal values. Think of it this way: if you're a dedicated vegan, your goal isn't likely to include mastering the art of cooking steaks, right? Similarly, if you value open communication, then setting a goal to have more heart-to-heart chats with your partner isn't far-fetched.

Take time to understand what you value in a relationship and in life. Your values act as a compass that guides your decision-making process. If your goals don't align with them, you're setting yourself up for a game of tug-of-war with your heartstrings, and darling, that's a game nobody wins.

Promoting Growth in the Relationship

Just as a garden needs sunlight and water to grow, your relationship needs goals that promote growth. Whether you're planting the seeds of a new relationship or tending to a long-term partnership, growth is an essential element of a healthy relationship.

Consider goals that challenge you and your partner to grow together. This could mean learning a new language as a pair, starting a fitness journey, or even engaging in regular deep conversations to understand each other better. The beauty of growth-oriented goals is that they not only make your relationship stronger but also foster personal development. It's a win-win, darling!

Setting Exciting Goals

Imagine setting a goal to do the laundry together every Sunday. Yawn! While it's practical (and we're all for splitting chores), it lacks a certain… zing, doesn't it? When setting relationship goals, make sure they're ones that both of you are excited about.

Do you both dream of seeing the northern lights? Great, add it to your bucket list. Does the idea of running a marathon together get your hearts racing? (Pun intended) Put it down as a goal. Remember, if your goals feel like a chore, you'll be less motivated to achieve them. Make sure they are things you both look forward to.

Mutual Decision-Making

Here's the thing about relationships, they're a two-player game. Your goals should be a mutual decision. It's not about what you want or what your partner wants; it's about what you both want.

This may involve a bit of negotiation. Let's say you want to adopt a cat, but your partner is more of a dog person. Instead of setting a goal that leans towards one preference, consider a compromise. Perhaps you could foster pets of different species before deciding which fits best into your lives. The goal here is to make decisions that consider the needs and wants of both partners.

In Conclusion

Setting relationship goals isn't about creating a to-do list that you rush to tick off.  It's about shaping a shared journey that aligns with your values, promotes growth, excites both of you, and strengthens your bond. This is what we had in mind when we created The Couple's Bucket List. 

So whether you're creating relationship goals, or using our couples date night ideas box to jumpstart the process, take your time, have open discussions, and remember to enjoy the process. After all, your relationship is your garden. With the right goals, you're simply deciding what beautiful blooms you want to see flourish.

Tiffany daSilva

Tiffany DaSilva is the founder of and lover of all things self care, chihuahuas and cross stitch. You can read her posts about how she handles the day to day using mindfulness and self care here on Pitter Patter! Flowjo's lifestyle blog.

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