There’s a lot to be said about your significant other. Whether introducing them to your friends, or talking about them when they’re not there, it’s important to use a language to describe your better half that reflects the relationship. Though my girlfriend and I easily pass for a straight couple, it doesn’t always feel right that two non binary people use the term “boyfriend and girlfriend.” It’s your relationship after all. Nobody else has the right to define it, so call it what you want! A simple way to show the person that you love that you care can be by asking what kind of term they want to refer to you by. Plus it can be a fun conversation to have, and a creative one to boot!
Partner
An absolute classic that has a ton of unique uses which may make defining your relationship otherwise a little tricky. Maybe you feel you’ve outgrown the “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” phase in your life? Maybe you or your significant other don’t strictly fit those terms? Maybe you feel like it’s a step up from “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” and signifies a longer-lasting relationship? No matter your reason for picking Partner as a term for your cuddle buddy, know that it signals acceptance. As a non-binary person, I feel comforted a little when I hear other people use the term Partner, especially heterosexual couples. It normalizes the term and makes it much easier to pitch to the person I am involved with when the time comes.
Sweetheart
I don’t know about you, but I think this one is an amazing throwback. Nothing like sharing a milkshake at the diner after school with your sweetheart on a Friday afternoon. Maybe Dad will let me take her out for a drive in the stationwagon on Sunday!
The 1950s are a vibe for sure. There’s a reason it’s the chosen decor of many greasy spoons across the continent. Now dodging all of the more problematic aspects of the time like rampant misogyny and racism, they had one thing going for sure: sweetheart.
It’s cute, it’s romantic, it’s even a type of Valentine’s Day candy. Sweetheart is the pinnacle of the rose-tinted glasses relationship where nothing can ever go wrong and you’re happy as a clam.
While obviously nothing can ever be that simple and relationships are complicated, Sweetheart is the term I use for mine when I catch a hint of perfection in my partner’s eye.
Sidekick
Now this one may be a little out there, and I will admit it is a term of my own creation. (I didn’t invent the word sidekick obviously, but I think I’m the first to use it regularly to describe myself in a relationship.)
Ok let me explain myself. Who is the most famous superhero and sidekick duo? Batman and Robin of course! Mind you, we haven’t seen much of Robin in recent Batman movies, but any older rendition of the Caped Crusader would be nowhere without his trusty sidekick.
Yes their relationship is strictly platonic.
Yes the Dark Night and the Boy Wonder often have a questionable age difference when they appear together.
But their relationship is just that! A relationship! They work alongside each other just as a couple does to solve problems, share resources, and even catch bad guys. Now mind you, my hero and I aren’t exactly saving Gotham City when we hang out, but it’s a cute term and it works on multiple levels. It may seem one-dimensional to refer to oneself as a bit of a secondary character, but if we return to the Batman analogy Robin has a whole lot going on. He even becomes his own superhero named Nightwing when he and ol’ Bruce part ways from time to time. Plus who could resist the opportunity to say “hold on a second, my sidekick is calling me.”
No matter what you call your boo, there’s a whole lot of options to choose from, and what you pick can speak volumes about your relationship progress, your orientations, and even your crime-fighting capabilities. Having this conversation with my sidekick (yes, I seriously, I call her that) definitely stepped our relationship up a notch.
One other way we’ve been keeping so close is with the Couple’s Bucket List. It’s a fun, healthy way to explore conversations that may never come up normally, and it keeps both of us on our toes and being the best partner we could be.
Photo by Yasamine June on Unsplash
